Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Walking the Shores of Cape Cod

Six years ago, when the Bean was new and tiny and I carried her everywhere on my chest, I thought it would be fun if we walked around Cape Cod. Literally. I thought it would be a good idea for me and the babe to hoof it around our fair peninsula's every mile of shoreline. Double distance, because we had to walk back to the car on our every excursion.

Well, maybe it was and maybe it wasn't a good idea, but one thing's for sure: the Bean grew a lot faster than I had opportunity to hike. Over time, we did walk every mile of beach in Sandwich, from the northeast end of the canal out to Sandy Neck in Barnstable. And I looked out at Sandy Neck, a lovely six mile stretch of barrier beach with a parking lot at one end, and I thought, hm. Twelve miles, averaging, say, two miles an hour, is six hours walking - a long time for a baby. I knew I wasn't going to do the whole thing.

My inner purist protested. I sympathize with Appalachian Trail purists, thru-hikers who won't take side trails to cut off even a quarter mile here or there of the AT proper. The compulsion to walk only and exactly along The Path, be it marked in the physical world or just in the mind -- I get that. However, motherhood forces all kinds of compromise, and flexibility is growth, right? Right. It was time to modify the grand plan.

It made more sense to go 'round the Cape walking only as much as we felt like of every reasonably accessible beach, instead of every single inch of shoreline, be it sand or muck, public or private. Walking mucky marshes is unpleasant and potentially dangerous; people do get stuck. We'll stick to sand. Public beach access points can be hard to find along some stretches. I'm not above walking on private beaches in wintertime when nobody's there to care, but I'm not going to sneak through people's yards for the sake of not missing a hundred yards of otherwise inaccessible shoreline.

With our newly flexible guiding principles, we did an incomplete but still long walk down Sandy Neck, and have since walked the north side beaches of the rest of Barnstable, then Yarmouth, Dennis and Brewster. We don't go in summertime because of the crowds, and because I'm too cheap to pay for beach parking. These aren't issues after Labor Day, but soon enough the weather interferes. Sometimes I'll think it's a great day for a beach walk, pack a lunch, get to where we left off, get the girls out of the car, and in approximately 90 seconds they want to go home. (Grrr. Whose children are these?) Needless to say, the goal is now both flexible and long-term. I could easily be in my 60s by the time we reach Monument Beach in Bourne. At least, if I need to be wheeled along after that, there's the paved bike path along the canal that'll bring us back to the Sandwich end, where I started with the baby Bean.

The baby Bean, after one of our walks. Good for a couple hours, but not six.
Salt marsh out the window.


Sometimes when I tell people about this back-burner hobby of mine, they say, "oh, someone did that and wrote a book..." and the small part of me that ever considers writing anything for publication thinks well shit, someone did it already, but another part thinks, hm, maybe he knows how to avoid guard dogs in Osterville -- that could come in handy. So I found the book. It is Walking The Shores of Cape Cod, by Elliott Carr (1997).

Without little ones in tow, and with someone to do car shuttling, Mr. Carr was free to undertake the route of the purist, braving the muck and swimming channels when necessary. (Shoot, his wife even swam across Falmouth Harbor, in the path of incoming vessels. That's just nuts.) The book has a chapter for each segment of his walk, with helpful maps and tips about when to walk (low tide, if possible). He did Thoreau's famous hike along the outer Atlantic beaches -- a trek I imagine we will significantly abbreviate -- and concludes, essentially: eh... don't do this unless you really have to. All that walking on a sloped beach, one leg higher up than the other, eventually gets really uncomfortable.

There's a fine line between "long satisfying hike" and "pointless forced march." In my experience, you don't find the line until you've already committed to completing whichever character-building experience it turns out to be.

Carr's book is more than a hiker's log. He reflects on many of the fundamental problems facing Cape Cod, as he walks areas where they're especially evident. Development and private vs. public interests are common themes. People come here to enjoy the shore, right? Nobody vacations here because the Cape Cod Mall is a unique or wonderful shopping environment, or moves here because Yarmouth has a world-renowned school system. Yet much of our beautiful shoreline is inaccessible or not used to best advantage. Clearly we've lacked planning, where development's concerned. Beach erosion is another issue; even if counter-erosion measures were effective, and there's plenty of evidence that they're not, is this a worthwhile use of public money... particularly to protect private beaches whose owners refuse public access?

Whereas beaches in most coastal states belong to everyone, Massachusetts still operates under a 360 year-old ordinance that allows private ownership of the area between high and low tides (wading in an inch of water at low tide is fair game). Cape Cod has 427 miles of shoreline, two thirds of which are private. Here, as elsewhere, we struggle to balance public good and individual rights. Carr sees this contest manifested on many segments of his walk. His observations are at once sharp and gentle:
I never saw a new house that looked as good as the open space which it replaced. That, in a nutshell, is the Cape's dilemma. Every time another house is built, a seller realizes the value from the land, a buyer is made happy to be the latest to cross the bridge, and a realtor, a banker, a lawyer, and a builder all make a little money. But, another piece of Cape Cod is gone, particularly if the new home is on the shore and the owner chooses to close the beach.
As to guard dogs, I didn't get any practical advice. However, to their almost-amusement, Carr and his wife were physically removed from a Nantucket Sound beach by local police, who arrived in two cruisers, having been summoned by neighborhood security guards in their two cruisers. Nice, huh? I suppose a middle-aged couple taking a walk represents a huge threat to the quality of life of the mansion set. Four cars and flashing lights required, pronto.

I'm almost looking forward to that part, myself. By then the Bean might be a teenager, prone to total embarrassment every time I say or do anything, and there I'll be with my feet wet and a copy of the 1641-1647 Colonial Ordinances in hand. I'll let you know how it goes.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Two and a Half Books

My book groups and I have been reading some interesting stuff.

I can't say enough good about Nathaniel Philbrick's Mayflower. It is, yes, the story of the Pilgrims' establishment of Plymouth Colony in 1620, and its growth and struggles in the decades that followed -- but this is a story most of us probably don't know very well, obscured as it’s been by centuries of myth and sentimental overlay. I knew that the Pilgrims arrived near wintertime, and had a tough go of it... after reading Mayflower, I'm amazed any of them lived to procreate. I had a general sense that the region's Native populations had a more complicated political structure than the traditional telling of this story has us believe, and it was fascinating to learn those details. And I had a very hazy recollection of King Philip's War from high school American History -- that is to say, I'd heard the words "King Philip's War" before -- but, wow. Now I know. And so should you -- but even though you'll feel all virtuous and wicked smaht afterwards, reading Mayflower isn't like taking medicine. Philbrick has a real gift for telling history through different, compelling points of view. It makes for a richly informative work, and a reading experience like delving into a fat, complicated novel. This is not a book to scan in short bursts, though, so give it a couple hours at a time. It's a fascinating read. Southern New England residents especially will love the maps.



The Yacoubian Building, by Alaa Al Aswany, is an Egyptian novel, a best seller there since its publication in 2002. It’s kind of a soap opera centered on a Cairo building, from the poorest, who crowd its roof, to the aristocrats, businessmen and politicians who occupy its spacious, elegant apartments. If you can keep the characters’ names straight, then this is a book that can be read in short sessions, though you won’t necessarily have to, as it keeps its pace, and it’s not too long. It isn’t an especially well-written novel – he’s no Khaled Hosseini -- though translation may account for some clumsiness of phrase. Still, The Yacoubian Building is engaging, and its characters’ relationships are interesting, if sort of dismal. We follow the coming of age of the doorman’s son and his sweetheart (and learn what different things that means, for a young man and a young woman), the scheming servants of an aging aristocrat, the sexual exploits of the aristocrat and others, the corruption of “elected” officials, and a homosexual romance. Most of these stories have tragic arcs, as if the author is trying to show that life in Cairo causes people to bring out the absolute worst in each other. The novel has a curiously depressing effect that isn’t entirely abated by the happy note on which it ends. I would be very curious to hear if Egyptians find it that way too.



Sarah Vowell’s Assassination Vacation is just terrific -- also, sadly, I’m just not going to finish it. Inspired in part by the intensity of her despair during the Bush administration (almost over! almost over!), the author goes on a mission to find out as much as she can about the people who were unbalanced and dangerous enough to kill Presidents. (“Hello there!” she waves from the pages of her prologue to the FBI agents who will doubtless be assigned to read her book.) Assassination Vacation is the wacky account of her dragging people along on trips to scores of historical sites, some world famous, some bizarrely obscure, connected to the assassinations of Presidents Lincoln, Garfield, and McKinley. Vowell is funny and insightful; the perfect historical tour guide. The Lincoln stuff, which I loved, takes about half the book. For whatever reason I couldn’t get to Garfield. After many months I admitted defeat; it appears I’m just not going to get to Garfield. But I recommend you take this jaunt at least as far as I did. It’s a hoot, and you’ll learn stuff.


Phew. What's on your nightstand? The books, I mean. The books.

Friday, November 14, 2008

A 5 Things Meme (mostly different from the other 5, 2, 7, 8, n- things memes)

JLK at Pieces of Me has tagged me for this Five Things meme. I enjoyed reading her responses to it, which include that she was, among other things, a teenager a decade ago. Why, when I was a teenager +10, blogging hadn't even been invented yet. I was signing on to AOL via a sporadic dialup connection with a 2400 bps modem attached to my PowerMac 6500, for which I'm not even going to say how much I paid, but thinking about it makes my stomach turn.

Also, I had a mobile phone that weighed about 40 pounds and had to be carried around in a little suitcase. It made a handy free weight, but using it to make actual phone calls cost approximately $748/minute.

But enough reminiscing. Or maybe not! Our very first 5 things question brings me just to teenager +12.

5 Things I was Doing 10 years Ago

1. Applying to law schools. Yes.
2. Hating my job so intensely, and doing it so badly, that I was prone to periods of intense despair -- the kind of despair that makes a person think, hey, spending my 30s in law school and the rest of my life in debt might actually be fun, or at the very least, the LSAT oughtta be an ego boost. Which it was. What can I say, I test well.
3. Living in a really great little loft apartment. The longer ago it gets, the better it was.
4. Eating mostly spaghetti. I didn't exactly cook in those days.
5. Dating a handsome oceanographer fella.

5 Things On My To-Do List Today:

1. Deliver children to bus stop and preschool, and retrieve them from same at the appropriate times.
2. Make packing list for weekend trip to the leafy suburb of my misspent youth.
3. Pack for weekend trip to the leafy suburb of my misspent youth.
4. Make lasagna for family to eat while I am visiting the... yeah, that.
5. Get car inspected. I just noticed the "10" sticker on it, and I do try to get it done every 13 months. -ish.
6. Who the hell has a to-do list with only 5 things on it? Whaddya mean, you don't care anymore? Fine.

5 Snacks I Love:

1. Cereal.
2. Dark chocolate nonpareils melted onto Italian bread. Don't knock it till you try it.
3. Cheddar and Triscuits.
4. Clementines.
5. Those ridgy little chips that are green and orange and yellow to make you think they're made of Real Vegetables, but they really are just potato chips.

5 Things I Would Do If I Were A Millionaire:

1. Build a substantial addition to the house, which would include: a mud room, a large casual dining room, a guest room with bath, and my own bathroom, baby. Also solar panels, and some expansions/reconfigurations of kitchen/baths. Why not just move? Meh. I hate moving.
2. Build an entire barn for Mr. S's automotive restoration and woodworking projects in progress, and where he can put a wood stove, since he loves wood stoves so much.
3. Give a bunch of money away. Get on some boards of directors of things, and start directing.
4. Never fly coach again.
5. Hire cleaning and landscaping services.


These last two are repeats from the other Five Things Meme I did a while back:

5 Places I've Lived:

1) NYC, briefly
2) northern NJ
3) southern CA
4) western MA
5) Cape Cod, MA

5 Jobs I've Had:

1) clerk in a nurses' uniform store
2) library page
3) locksmith's assistant
4) teaching assistant (oceanography)
5) environmental consultant

5 People I'll Tag That I Don't Know Enough About:

Well, here is where I breach blog etiquette. Even online, I am much too socially awkward to tag people. But I encourage you (you!) to do this and let me know where you did.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Veterans' Day

A happy Veterans' Day, and heartfelt thanks, to all who have served our country with honor and courage.

Sunday, November 09, 2008

Ten things I feel like I'm supposed to like, but I just don't.


1. The Counting Crows. I can't stand that guy's voice. Ditto Elton John.
2. Breakfast in bed. Hate it. You can't sit up properly, everything wobbles on the tray, it's just awkward and annoying and gah, don't bother, I'll get up.
3. Scarecrows. Why do people love making scarecrows? I can't wait to get rid of the one in my front yard. I half jump every time I catch it in my peripheral vision. Why yes, I am wound that tightly.
4. I'd say clowns, but I think it's pretty well-established that nobody really likes clowns. Why aren't scarecrows covered by that clause too?
5. Fried clams. I live on Cape Cod, I'm supposed to dig fried clams, but I just don't. Ditto lobster. Lobster is revolting. Would you eat a giant insect? Of course you wouldn't. Same thing.
6. Beer. I used to drink it, but I never loved it.
7. Music recorded live. The concert experience is one thing, but for listening, the sound's better from a studio.
8. Exercise. People are always on about how great it feels. Seriously? Where the HELL are these endorphins I keep hearing about? Where?
9. Opera. I love classical music, but opera still sends me running for the door.
10. Fruit flavored ice cream. Meh.

Your turn.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The day after

At long last, here we have it.

A lot of sap and schlock is being written today about tears of joy shed last night. While neither of those things is especially my style, I have to say that where politics are concerned, I'm very pleased this morning. Moved, inspired, proud. Relieved. Hopeful.

All things it's been very, very hard to be for years now.

Those of us who lost a lot of respect for John McCain over these past months due to everything from his foisting Sarah Palin onto the national stage (thanks - not!) to putting dismissive air quotes around "women's health" (I'll never forget that revealing little gem - never) have reason to see much of it restored, after his gracious concession speech. Concession speeches can't be easy. They can't feel good. Senator McCain's showed real class, even if his booing audience could not.

Do I think Barack Obama will be a perfect President? Of course not. But he's going to be an extraordinary one.

At the very least, State of the Union addresses will no longer rank up there with dental surgery as unpleasant experiences go. Frankly, I'll shed tears of joy on that score alone.

Tuesday, November 04, 2008

Voted.

Done!

My polling place is the Bean's school; Mr. S. works home on Tuesdays, so I'm usually there anyhow to have lunch with her (and the rest of the first grade, omg) and do some stuff for her teacher. Today I snagged us some cookies from the bake sale, bought an obligatory raffle ticket for something, and joined her in the cafeteria.

The kids are choosing sides, in their own way. Overheard:
"Obama's going to give us like TEN MORE HOURS of recess!"
"Who do you like? PLEASE don't say Obama!"
And my personal favorite, "I'd vote for Obama 'cause it rhymes with my favorite animal: llama."

After lunch I led her class back to their classroom, pausing to let elderly voters make their way through the line o'kiddos to get to the polls across the hall. It was a good day to have another grownup there as shepherd.

Returning to vote myself, I asked the poll workers how the day's gone. (It's the same old ladies every time; they always tell me (unasked) whether or not my husband has been in yet, as if he bears watching. Hm.) Steadily busy, they said. In this small town, that means no wait, but a constant flow of voters. They had a bit of a line in the pre-commute rush, and they'll have more in the after-work rush. But they much prefer that to knitting all day while hardly anybody comes, which also happens.

We use the old-fashioned, fill-in-the-arrow style ballots, which I really like. It's hard to do the wrong thing by mistake, but if you do, you can get a new ballot. No worries.

In addition to the national race, we in Massachusetts have someone trying to unseat Senator John Kerry (late of the Kerry-Edwards '04 ticket). Political views notwithstanding, I do think it's good for a long-time incumbent to have reason to at least pay attention around election time. The same thing's happening with our local state representative race, though the parties are reversed.

We also have ballot questions. One aims to eliminate the state income tax. Supporters of this wacky proposal say that doing so will not result in higher local (property) taxes, or an increased sales tax. They also don't think cops, schools, libraries, roads, etc. are essential government services. (In short, they are either patently stupid, or crazier than shithouse rats.) But they have an enthusiastic if short-sighted following, because the Massachusetts legislature was (by binding referendum just like this ballot question) supposed to have lowered our income tax years ago, and just never did it. People don't like to be ignored.

Question 2 seeks to decriminalize possession of an ounce or less of marijuana. It'd still be illegal, but wouldn't result in a criminal record. I'm inclined to favor this one.

Question 3 would abolish greyhound racing. This question has come up before, and if it doesn't pass, it'll probably come up again. I can't think of a reason why NOT to abolish greyhound racing, frankly. If half the things people say about how greyhounds are treated are true, then good riddance.

So there you have it.

How's voting gone in your neck of the woods? What's the buzz?

Saturday, October 25, 2008

Pegging the irony meter this week:

Most people are probably already familiar with the whole American Girl phenomenon. Briefly, American Girl makes pretty dolls with names and detailed stories that go with them. They're from all different times and places in American history, and you can get clothes and accessories and furniture and story books and all kinds of other stuff to go with each one. There is clothing for real girls to match their dolls' outfits -- really, it never ends.

A while back I read about an American Girl doll beauty salon (yes), which a girl with another brand of doll, maybe even - gasp - an imitation, was asked to leave, even though she was part of a birthday party there. This made me sad, but not surprised. One more way for mean, snobbish grownups to pass their meanness and snobbery down to the next generation. I hadn't given American Girl another thought since that story. Hard as it is to believe, I have gone lo these many months without American Girl dolls crossing my mind at all.

Then one day last week, an unsolicited American Girl catalog arrived in the mail. Now, I prefer not to be on snail mail lists in general. Catalogs in particular represent a huge waste of resources. It's not just paper. There's ink, bleach, solvents, fuel, electricity, etc., and the total pointless waste of all these things makes me cranky. So there are just a couple of catalogs that I get, and needless to say American Girl isn't one of 'em.

First thing I did after bringing the mail in was call them to get off their mailing list. If they know how they got my name, they aren't telling, but they are agreeable about not sending me more catalogs, so, good. That done, I put down the phone, and flipped through the big glossy pages of the one I'd received. Its featured doll is Kit Kittredge, growing up in Cincinnati, Ohio in 1934. I guess there's a movie of this story that came out this past summer, with Abigail Breslin as Kit? Anyway, from the catalog:
Growing up during the Great Depression means a lot of change for Kit Kittredge. When her family turns their home into a boarding house, she must move into a drafty attic bedroom. She has to start wearing dresses made from feed sacks to save money. And when her dad loses his business, she worries that he may have to move away to find another job. But Kit is clever and resourceful, and she works hard to help her family make ends meet. Life is not all hard work, though. Kit learns how to have lots of fun with little money and, most important, to treasure the things that money can't buy -- family and friends.
Well that's nice, I think as I read, though the feed sack thing is perhaps a tad incongruous, since the Kit doll comes wearing a pretty twinset and skirt, and I notice that oddly enough, none of the other outfits you can buy for her are made from feed sacks.

So how much do you figure it costs, this pretty dolly with her Depression story and heartwarming message about things in life more precious than money? I look to the bottom of the page to find out...

...$90.00. Yes indeed. That's for one doll, and one paperback book.

I laughed out loud.

Good thing my girls already manage to have lots of fun with little money -- saves me buying them a $90 doll to explain how it's done.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Um... they're resting?

We had our first freeze last night, and the impatiens have given up the ghost. We had pots and hangers, boxes and beds of 'em; there was no point bringing them into the garage (or the shed! Mr. S. finished the shed!) to save them for the sake of another week. Annuals come, and eventually, annuals go. These are gone.

Backyard carnage. Sad, but wachagonnado.

Out of nowhere, the Peanut had a complete meltdown about it. She cried, and cried, and cried. "I don't WANT them to be dead!" she wailed, and "I wish flowers lived until PEOPLE were dead!" and "now every time Bean wears her doggie pajamas I'm going to think that the flowers are DEAD!" This last made me laugh, but it makes childlike sense because Bean's doggie pjs (pink fleece with a white scottie dog on the front) are for cold, cold nights - flower killing nights.

Holy cow, the kid was inconsolable. Neither sympathy, nor reasoned explanation, nor pointing out that the pretty purple asters are doing fine, had any effect. "I don't want to see them drooping!" she cried, surveying the carnage.

This from the child who last weekend single handedly pulled all the tomato and basil and pepper plants out of the garden by the roots - and boy was she proud of all that hard work! The tomatoes gave us all they had; we ate the last of them yesterday, and I was kind of sad. Flowers strike a different nerve, I guess.

Now it's 60 F and sunny, but she refuses to play outside. Too horrific.

I have parked her in front of a movie: Charlotte's Web, which is all about life and death and the natural way of things, more gently told than I can manage when she's wailing in my ear and getting snot all over my shoulder.

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

foodstuff and food stuff

Tonight's dinner, which the girls either outright loved (Bean) or at least ate without too much complaining or actual tears (Peanut), was tasty for the grown-ups as well, and very, very quick and easy to make.

Chicken Thighs with Honey-Ginger Glaze

4 chicken thighs, boneless & skinless
1/4 c. honey
1 T lemon juice
1 T soy sauce
1 t Worcestershire sauce
1 T bottled ground fresh ginger (not the dry spice)

Cook the chicken in a bit of canola oil about 5 minutes/side.

Mix the other ingredients with a whisk. I adore my little whisk. Here it is:
Ah, the perfect whisk.

Anyhow whisk all that stuff together. Add it to the skillet when the chicken's browned. Simmer 10 minutes.

In that 10 minutes, microwave some baby carrots and cook some egg noodles.

Voila, dinner.



In other food news, we have determined that the Peanut has a shellfish allergy. With a toddler or preschooler, it can be hard to tell if occasional throwing up is due to a virus or something they ate. When Peanut was 2 and 3, I had the vague sense that a couple of her stomach bugs followed our having had shrimp for dinner, but the association wasn't crystal clear. Then we had scallops one evening this summer, and although the doctors at both hospitals (!) later said it was probably a bad virus, I had a sneaking suspicion that what had the Peanut purging her digestive system to such a frightening extent all that night was the shellfish. Mr. S. and I agreed it wasn't worth testing the case - no more shellfish for her.

Two weeks later (!!) he forgot, and gave her a tiny piece of a clam cake, which arguably didn't even contain any actual clams. And: she threw up in the middle of the night. So really now, NO SHELLFISH for that Peanut. I'm typing it out loud, because I'm so used to writing "none known" on official forms that ask if the girls have any allergies, that it's easy to forget this one. It's odd - she doesn't break out in hives or have trouble breathing - but she distinctly rejects anything of that kind, and it appears that her reaction is becoming more pronounced with even less of the offending food. She only had a bite of that clam cake. Scary.

I really feel for parents whose kids have peanut allergies. Holy crap! Peanut butter is everywhere. Let alone dairy, eggs, wheat, even! If I got a letter home from school saying a child in one of the girls' classes had a peanut allergy, I'd be up a creek for what to make them for lunch, but I'd damn sure think of something. Who wants to be responsible for a kid having a true medical scare... that is, if they're lucky it'd be just a scare and nothing worse? I just can't imagine being unwilling to help try to avoid that. Disappointed, yeah, but to refuse to cooperate? To be the jackass parent who says it isn't my problem, you can't tell me what not to give my kid for lunch, blah blah blah? That takes selfish to new heights, no?

More of the genius that's xkcd.com.

Friday, October 17, 2008

I should still get to bed on time, though.

I've started reading in bed again lately, and I've noticed that when I stay up late reading a book, I never wake up feeling as horrible as when I stay up late on the computer. I think it's because the light from the monitor keeps my brain jumpy after I've gone to bed. Putting a book down seems a gentler transition to sleep.

Richard Russo's Bridge of Sighs is this month's book group selection. It's pleasant enough, but I really hope I want to spend 528 pages with these characters. That I checked does not bode well. It's like looking at my watch during a movie...

... which I didn't do even once during Burn After Reading, the newish Coen brothers caper starring John Malkovitch, Tilda Swinton, George Clooney, Frances McDormand and Brad Pitt. Malkovitch plays a pompous ass washed up CIA analyst who loses his job... you can't fire me, I quit... and starts living in his bathrobe, drinking too much, and writing his memoirs, a cd of which is found on a locker room floor by two cash-and-brains-poor gym employees (Pitt and McDormand, both funny), who try to sell it to the Russians (of course! Wouldn't you?). Affairs are had, schemes are schemed, entanglements ensue. As happens with other Coen brothers films, I laughed out loud in places nobody else did, and sometimes didn't laugh when everyone else did. Weird. At any rate, engaging wackiness, good performances, go see it.

What's entertaining you these days, or keeping you up late?

Monday, October 13, 2008

The Prestige, and, Jackman or Bale?


So I haven't posted about movies in a while. Partly this is because we haven't been screening as many movies at the Sandy Shoes Home Theater since Mr. Sandy and I got into The Sopranos and have been sucking down those DVDs like milkshakes every chance we get. ("You wanna watch someone get whacked?" we say. "Sure, just let me finish this email...") I can't say enough good about the show. I was completely hooked from the first bars of opening music in the first episode of Season 1. The writing, the acting, the characters... ah, well, it's all been said before, and old news at that. You can't say it's a joy, exactly, what with the sociopaths and the whacking and the baseness of it all -- note I don't say the foul language, which I actively enjoy -- but it is definitely deeply satisfying on some level. So, we're into Season 5, and movie-watching has lagged accordingly.

Last night though, we watched The Prestige (2006- hey, not that long ago for us!), a very dark drama based on the 1995 Christopher Priest novel of the same name. It's about two turn-of-the-century London illusionists who become bitter, obsessed rivals. (Hugh Jackman and Christan Bale... ooh la la. Who's easier on your eyes? I lean toward Jackman, myself, despite evidence that Christian Bale is Kermit the Frog, whom I adore. Bale's looks make me think of a petulant teenage brat, especially when his hair's this short. However, I do prefer Batman to Wolverine.... hm? Oh, all right. Enough, already.)

It's a compelling story with twists and turns and flashbacks aplenty, and I recommend it if you haven't yet seen it. However, when it came down to asking ourselves "do we want to own this one?" both Mr. Sandy and I said um... no, because it's creepy to the point of horrid. But do see it once, because it's creepy to the point of horrid! if you know what I mean.

Monday, October 06, 2008

You have to be 18 to vote, but evidently you don't have to be a grownup.

Massachusetts isn't exactly a swing state, but the occasional McCain/Palin lawn sign is popping up amid the Obama '08 ones round these parts. To me it seems weird, like a few people declaring "YES! TAX MY HEALTH BENEFITS! STAY AT WAR! DRILL BABY DRILL!" -- and they're not even joking.

Whatever. People have different views. I get my vote, you get yours. It'll be done soon, and whatever the outcome, it's a safe bet most people will be glad the whole thing's behind us. Live and let live, all that.

Today though, when I saw a "NOBAMA" sign in a yard across from the Peanut's preschool, it kind of bummed me out. I think it reflects badly on whoever placed it (as would a "McLame" or "McSame" sign, btw). I know I'm not the only one who reads it to mean "this particular McCain supporter also seems like kind of an asshole."

We don't have enough negative ads -- now we need negative lawn signs?

Great.

The states that could go either way must be political sign hell these days. Reports, anyone?

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Thomas, Henry and the Bean

Yesterday after dinner, the Bean made an announcement: "I am going to write my phone number on a piece of paper to give to Henry on the bus, and maybe he will call me some day!"

Henry and the Bean are six (6) years old. Their friendship, begun last year in kindergarten, is built on a firm foundation of mutual, abiding love for all things Thomas and Friends. They used to sit next to each other on the bus and discuss the engines in their respective toy collections. There was a lot to talk about. For a long time, engines were all the Bean ever wanted for Christmas and birthday presents. She wore a Thomas the Tank Engine costume for Halloween two years in a row. (The Peanut loves Thomas stuff too, though she's refusing to wear the costume a second time - dang.) We have accumulated a whole bin full of engines, each with a different name and personality. Henry groks this. He has a Thomas-themed playroom.

I see Henry's mother around town from time to time. When we first met, she said she hoped Henry wasn't bothering the Bean... evidently he used to come home from school and report "Bean smiled at me today!" or, sighing, "Bean didn't smile at me today," leading her to think maybe he had too much riding on the Bean's attentions and might make a nuisance of himself. I told her not to worry on Bean's account; they seemed to be having a great time.

One day soon after the Bean started taking karate, she got off the bus giggling like mad. "I karate chopped Henry," she said, "and we can't stop laughing."

How cool, to have a friend like that.

They're in different classes this year, but I've seen them smile at each other across the cafeteria at lunchtime. It is adorable.

It occurred to me that it's a little soon to get into the whole waiting-for-the-phone-to-ring dynamic, but it seems we don't have to worry about that just yet. After declaring her intention, Bean went off for a piece of paper and a pencil, but came back with the box of magnetic letters to play with on the side of the fridge with her sister. "What about writing your phone number, Bean?" I asked. "Oh, I forgot," she said, but didn't go back to it.

Still, we'll have Henry over to play trains, while they're still little enough to find pure joy in it. And Mr. Sandy's made a mental note to keep a veeeerrry close eye on that boy over the years...

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

Come back baby, you'll find a change in me.

Arguably, one of the changes I should make is to get to know more music that was produced after, say, 1983. Whatever. I love this tune, and I'm declaring it Song of the Day even though it wasn't the morning earworm (a song stuck in my head from before my eyes even opened). Au contraire - the morning earworm was the theme song to Star Trek: TNG. Yeah, I don't understand it either.

Anyway:

Everybody oughta make a change
(by sleepy john estes)

Change in the weather, change in the sea,
Come back baby, you'll find a change in me.
Everybody, they ought to change sometime,
Because sooner or later we have to go down in that lonesome ground.

I changed suits, I changed shirts,
I changed, baby, just to get shed of the dirt.
Everybody, we ought to change sometime,
Because sooner or later we're going down in that lonesome ground.

I changed honey, I changed money,
I changed, people, just to keep from being funny.
Everybody, they ought to change sometime,
Because sooner or later we're going down in that lonesome ground.

Change in the ocean, change in the sea,
Come back baby, you'll find a change in me.
Everybody, we ought to change sometime,
Because sooner or later we're going down in that lonesome ground.

Whoa.

I don't know where to begin. This is just so awesome, from the title, to the hair, to the smiles, to the shirts...

More wacky lp covers at lpcoverlover.com.


h/t: The Presurfer

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Who knows, maybe hollering at 'em worked after all.

Since my last post, the girls have been playing together happily, the way they usually do. I sent them out in the rain ... out out out out OUT! They went up the street a bit -- sisters in pink raincoats, under a ladybug umbrella -- to watch rainwater flow into the storm drain (I tried not to recall Stephen King's It too vividly). Now they are back, playing "garden." Whatever that means. They get into these lengthy pretend scenarios, and replay and replay them. This is a new one. Hopefully it doesn't include whatever power imbalance had them screaming at each other earlier.

So I have time for some free association. Play along every Sunday at Unconscious Mutterings...
she said ____ :: I thought _____.
  1. Hearing :: impaired
  2. Aggression :: channel
  3. Charged :: ion
  4. Traveler :: airport
  5. Hydrate :: water
  6. Detox :: rehab
  7. Qualify :: pass
  8. Prison :: cell
  9. Frontal :: nudity
  10. Pep talk :: bullshit

Hm. I guess I'm not open to pep talks. I was thinking especially of the business environment pep talk. I so don't miss consulting... shudder.

Rainy weekend.

My throat is sore. Not from the latest virus making its nasty way through the children's snot-filled classrooms, though I'm sure that joy is not far off.

(Deleted: a rant about people who cough into their hands rather than their elbows)

(Deleted: a rant about antibacterial soap, which people buy even though it's proven no more effective than normal soap and may instead be contributing to the rise of truly scary, resistant strains of bacteria -- and about the staggering arrogance of those who keep buying it even though they know that)


No. My throat is sore from yelling at my squabbling daughters. Because I am Mother of the Year.

I don't care which of them wasn't being nice. I don't care who walked away from the game; I don't care who touched what of whose; I don't care who said what, took what, did what, wanted and didn't get what.

I. Don't. Care.

Today I heard myself yell, among other things, "STOP YELLING!" And one of the less emotional voices in my head said, "well. That was dumb."

Ladies n' germs, I have lost my freakin' mind.

Monday's coming, Monday's coming, Monday's coming.

In the meantime, I feel a movie coming on.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

What's *wrong* with people?

And by "people," I certainly mean "me," as well.

So yesterday? After the dog shit incident? I went to the closest grocery store to grab some mozzarella for the awesome spinach-and-ricotta stuffed shells I was making for dinner. I thought I already had the cheese in the freezer -- you can do that you know, buy a huge bag of shredded cheese and freeze it. In theory this saves money and time. In practice that's usually true, except there I was on my way to the store at the last minute, so draw your own conclusions -- but either I didn't have any, or the freezer is so unworkably full of other things (mostly overripe bananas waiting to become banana bread) and the mozzarella so deeply buried as to functionally not exist, which is a separate problem, and should probably be a separate post.

I digress.

I went to the closest grocery store, instead of the best grocery store. I only do this under duress, because the closer store is horrid, from its awkward parking lot to its layout and stock and vacant-eyed employees. I parked, ran in. Got the cheese. Headed to the checkout -- express line for me, with my one item.

And I landed right behind a cheater. It's one thing to go through the express line when you have 13 items instead of 12... by mistake, or just trying to squeak by, I guess we've all done it. But to do it with several more than 12 items, most of which are produce? And it's one of the self-check lines where you have to look up the produce items individually and key them in on the touch screen? Which takes forever, especially if you're not really up on how to do it? Sorry, but that's rude. Rude rude rude.

But whatever. I just scrubbed dog poop off my kitchen floor -- I've experienced more than my fair share of rudeness today, and this isn't going to make it any worse.

But she's still a cheater. And a thief! Look! She just scanned through some of those tiny hot peppers, and the register announces "move your GREEN BELL PEPPERS to the belt... TWENTY TWO CENTS." HEY! If those are green bell peppers, lady, I'm Miley Cyrus. And if little hot peppers are less expensive than bell peppers, I'm Billy Ray Cyrus. THIEF!

She scrambles through the rest of her stuff... including a bag of three limes, which she counts as one lime. I can't watch any more. She goes forward to bag her loot, I step up to scan my cheese. "DON'T FORGET TO TAKE YOUR RECEIPT," says the machine to the lady. Back she comes.

"Green bell peppers are getting smaller every day," I say, before I can stop myself. She has the decency to look sheepish and scuttle away.

So why do I include myself in "what's wrong with people?" Because I don't want to be a finger-wagging busybody. I just want to get my cheese and go home. But these things get to me, when I see them. What's the point of playing by the rules if well-dressed middle-aged ladies are shamelessly stealing limes and jalapeno peppers in broad daylight? Who do these people think they are?

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

poop for brains

They're much more polite about this in Vancouver than I can manage to be here.


TO: The person who let their dog crap on the sidewalk where the Bean's school bus stops.

Fuck you very much.

I so appreciate having dog shit on my shoes and in my home.

My family and I wish you the same pleasure, many times over.

Have a nice day.

***

What do you do when your kid's misbehaving with a toy? You take it away, right? Of course you do. My girls write somewhere they're not supposed to -- in a book, say, or on furniture or a wall? The markers/crayons/pencils are gone for up to a week, depending what it was they defaced and how recently the last time they were reminded not to. Leave a toy out after I've told them and told them to put it away? Same story - the toy disappears for a while, and they've no one but themselves to blame.

In an ideal world, I would get to do this with all the selfish, lazy dog walkers in the neighborhood. I see your dog shit where people walk, and you don't pick it up? I'm taking your dog for a week. Not to mistreat it, good heavens no. The problem isn't the dog's fault -- there is only a problem because you, dog owner, are an inconsiderate jackass, and probably don't deserve your loyal friend's company anyhow.

The world would be different if I were Queen, I tell ya.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Another Way to Cringe

Listen to Another Way to Die, the new Bond song (for the movie Quantum of Solace, which is coming out either October 31 or November 17, depending which trailer you believe, and to which I am looking forward with a greater than reasonable intensity),

here. I'll wait.




So, what did you think?

Me, I'm prepared to be pleasantly surprised if it rocks as a theme song/movie credit music, but on its own, I am tentatively leaning toward the "things that suck" category. Starts out OK, but on balance, too much wailing.

Probably too soon to judge.

I read that the original preference was for Amy Winehouse to write and perform a song for the movie, but she's such a train wreck she can't even sing Happy Birthday these days. Still, maybe they should've let her try.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Of all the states to mess with...

Posted at wonkette a couple days ago (what can I say, I don't blog professionally, y'know), under the heading "DINGUSES": Ralph Nader is on the Florida ballot.

Goddamnit, Ralph. This is not a game.

Ahoy me hearties, &c.

It's International Talk Like A Pirate Day, matey!

Avast! There be a pirate joke on the horizon!



Q. What's a pirate's favorite kind of music?

A. Arrrrrrr&B.


And, just because I like saying it: poopdeck. So there.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Chase Rooster Palin

The Palin kids have kooky names. You can find out what your name would've been, if Sarah Palin had been your mommy. Go to the Sarah Palin Baby Name Generator. Good times.

Then, read Anne Lamott's latest essay at Salon.com. I love her.

Saturday, September 13, 2008

"Purple Pinot" does have kind of a superhero ring to it.

The Name Game

1. Your rock star name (first pet, current car)
Sophie 4Runner

2. Your gangsta name (favorite ice cream flavor, favorite type of shoe)
Chocolate Mary Jane

3. Your soap opera name (middle name, city where you were born)
Leslie New York

4. Your Star Wars name (the first 3 letters of your last name, first 2 of your first name)
Shosa

5. Superhero name (favorite color, favorite drink)
Purple Pinot

6. NASCAR name (the first names of your grandfathers)
Walter Elmer

7. Dancer name (the name of your favorite perfume/cologne/scent, favorite candy)
Jasmine Toffee

8.TV weather anchor name (your 5th grade teacher’s last name, a major city that starts with the same letter)
Flegler Flagstaff

9.Spy name (your favorite season/holiday, flower)
Labor Daisy

10.Cartoon name:(favorite fruit, article of clothing you’re wearing right now)
Clementine Capris

11.Hippie name (what you ate for breakfast, your favorite tree)
Bagel Willow

12.Movie star name (first pet, first street where you lived)
Sophie Summit

Sunday, September 07, 2008

Sunday free association

Play along at Unconscious Mutterings.
She said _______ :: I thought _______
  1. House :: home

  2. Think :: , dammit!

  3. Clot :: aneurysm

  4. Believe me :: , I know

  5. Fumigation :: cloud

  6. Bore :: drone

  7. Luck :: good

  8. Patient :: hospital

  9. Tremors :: earthquake

  10. Pickles :: my girls, who dig 'em

Friday, September 05, 2008

So young, they learn to sacrifice for Science...

My husband is upstairs giving the girls their bath, and explaining that tomorrow, he is leaving town for a week or so to do some fieldwork.

He's an oceanographer. Fieldwork means going to sea. (Yes, it's hurricane season. Details, details. He's not explaining that part.)

Anyway I just heard him ask our daughters if he can take their little backyard baby pool on his Big Trip, and solemnly promise to get them a new one "if it gets wrecked." It will help him in his research, he said. (I think he wants to use it to mix a special fluorescent dye, which he'll then dump into the ocean, and track its vertical and horizontal diffusion by measuring its concentrations as it spreads. Some of the measurements will be made using a laser which will be aimed at the dye patch from a small plane flying overhead. It's cool stuff, and none of it can happen without the little plastic pool!)

"So would that be OK, if I borrowed your kiddie pool?"
"Can the new one be pink?" they asked.
"I don't know what color."
"We want it to be pink."
"I don't know what color the new one would be."
"OK, you can take it, but if we need a new one, it should be pink."

Actually, if it's to be used the way I assume it is, the old one will be extraordinarily pink when he's done with it -- and "wrecked" won't quite cover its condition.

Hey, this could be a Teachable Moment... I should sell them baby pool insurance with fine print that excludes damage incurred during use in scientific research by grown-ups. It'll be a tough lesson when they try to collect, but on the up side, they'll be totally prepared to buy homeowner's insurance on Cape Cod.

Update: He's not using the pool to mix the dye; evidently that's done in big barrels. He'll be using it to pre-soak certain instruments in sea water before they get dropped in the ocean. So the old pool will still probably be beat up, but it won't be fluorescent pink. Pity.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

T minus... oh wait. Here we are, already.


Hm. I guess my countdown kind of fizzled.

The Bean's first day of first grade, yesterday, went very well. The big change for her is that it's a full school day. Kindergarten was a half day. She's ready, but I think she may also be tired for a couple of weeks. It's longer than she usually has to focus, or sit, or interact with new people.

Actually, the biggest change for all of us is getting going in the morning! We didn't have many planned morning activities this summer, and the girls got used to hanging out in their pajamas, reading and playing quietly before breakfast. I don't think we got downstairs before 9:00 AM all summer long, until we did a week of nature classes at the natural history museum. Any discipline we gained from that was thrown off along with our internal clocks on our California trip. So we did a dry run on Monday to practice, set out clothes the night before to save morning time, things like that. It's working fine. (However! I have got to get to sleep earlier than I have been.)

I got the Bean a simple alarm clock so she won't worry about not waking up on time. We decided that if she gets up at 7:30, that's plenty of time. She set her alarm for 7:15, just in case.

Very early -- criminally early -- yesterday morning, I felt her staring down at me as I slept. I cracked an eye open. (Sometimes, standing completely still and staring at me like that, she briefly reminds me of those girls in The Shining. If she would just blink, or something!) Then a whisper: "Mommy did you forget about the first day of first grade?" "No, Bean," I whispered back. "Right now it is 5:52 on the first day of first grade. We don't have to get up until 7:30, remember?" "Oh." she went back to her room. I heard her alarm go off at 7:15, and heard her turn it off. At 7:18 she appeared, fully dressed, teeth brushed, and wondering if it wouldn't be helpful to wake up her sister? (Um, no. No thanks.)

So I guess we don't have a morning problem with the Bean, though the novelty will soon wear off.

After school, she took my hand as she got off the bus. I'm happy she still does that so naturally. "So BEAN!!!" I said. "How was your first day? TELL ME ALL ABOUT IT!" And she said, "good."

That's it.

I have learned that I will never get a linear narrative about how her school days go. So I turn it into a joke, and ask a thousand questions, most of them ridiculous, being a general pest until eventually she starts talking just to contradict me. "We did NOT ride an elephant at recess! We played good guys and bad guys!" "OHHHH, why didn't you say so! Who were the bad guys?" And so on. I would rather annoy her than have her think I'm not interested in the details :).

Today was the Peanut's turn -- she started preschool this morning. She's been psyched for it ever since her sister was going there and she'd cry because she couldn't stay, too. So the past few weeks have been a very exciting build-up, and she's been literally jumping up and down as she tells people she's going to PRESCHOOL! And she WIPES HER OWN BUM! Yeah, well, what can I say. It's a major accomplishment, and she's proud. It's all good.

So I wasn't expecting this from her, but last night, as I was lying in her bed with her to say goodnight, she burst into tears... full-blown, grieving, wailing, tears. "I DON'T WANT TO BE WITHOUT YOU!!!" she sobbed. We'd been talking about what a nice day we'd had together at the beach after the Bean went to school. She said that was her favorite part of the day, and then she just lost it. I held her close, murmuring about all the wonderful things she was going to get to do at preschool, and that if she felt homesick, she should say to herself, "Mommy loves me, and she'll be here soon," because preschool is only for the morning, and then we'll be together again. Eventually her sobs became shudders, then sighs, then she was asleep in my arms.

This morning: none of that. Everything went fine. But twelve hours after she cried her heart out at the thought of leaving me, I had my own sobfest in the car over leaving her. I don't want to be without her, either. Oh, my Peanut. I'm so glad we still have Tuesdays and Thursdays together. Oh yeah, and every afternoon. Preschool is a big step, but it really isn't a lot of time apart.

Now I'm off to pick her up... she'll tell me All About It. Later we'll meet the Bean's bus, ask her how the second day of first grade was, and she'll say, "good."

So it is, Bean. So it is.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

More Thoughts on Sarah Palin (during which my irony meter seriously overheats)

I'm going to need one of these in a minute.

First there's this:
Comments about how Sarah Palin ought not to run for VP because she should be taking care of her family -- are you kidding me? When does anyone tell a man he shouldn't strive for -- well, for anything, because there's a baby in the family? (So he's a "special needs" baby. Does this mean his mother is not entitled to pursue a powerful political career?) What nonsense. Of course it's not hard to believe people are saying Sarah Palin should get herself back in the kitchen -- it's so predictable it's utterly dull. But to hear it from people whose opinions I otherwise respect? from self-described feminists? burns my grits. Come ON. This is precisely why we ARE feminists, no?

Then this:
Gov. Palin states how proud their family is of "Bristol's decision to have her baby." Good for them! Truly! I'd be delighted to leave Bristol out of the political conversation altogether. She's young, and she didn't ask for her life to play out on a national stage, and she deserves her privacy. I would like to follow Barack Obama's example and take the high road, as he so often does.

However: this is a "decision" process that our anti-choice, would-be Vice President fully intends to deny anyone else, yes?

So wait just a damn minute. I think it's fair game to discuss whether or not Gov. Palin sticks to her beliefs when the issue is under her own roof.

Also:
Why is Bristol Palin on some sort of pedestal, while teenage mothers in, say, Gloucester Massachusetts are the bane of their community and have been basically derided as self-indulgent sluts?

And finally:
So, Gramma Palin, how's that abstinence-only sex education thing working out for your family? Could we maybe give reality-based, age-appropriate information a try for our own kids? Cause it looks like that might have better results. Just saying...

Monday, September 01, 2008

Good riddance to this lot, anyway.

Last Friday I took the girls to another lovely Cape Cod town to visit with their grandparents. The five of us went out for ice cream. We were sitting at a picnic table outside the ice cream shop enjoying our treats, when along comes another family... Mom, Dad, a grandmother, and two boys. Ice cream on a beautiful summer day, popular thing to do, smiles all round.

Smiles, until one of the little brats pulls down his pants in the sidewalk and urinates in a giant arc, right on to the ice cream shop building, while his parents stand by and do nothing.

We couldn't believe it.

So as an innocent ice cream customer, do you say something to these boors? Or do you just shake your head in disgust and let it go?

Well, if you're me... and if you've had it with loud, ill-mannered, littering, tailgating summer visitors* and their whining spoiled rotten children... you can't let it go. It's just not OK.

So, gesturing toward the piss stain not yet dry in the sun, I cheerfully asked this family if they pee on the walls at home, too? They stared as if I had two heads. "What did she say?" they said to each other. I smiled, happy to repeat. "What I said was, 'Do you pee on the walls of your own home? Or is that just something special you've set aside to do on vacation in our community?'"

They did have the good grace to reprimand the kid and leave.

Now, I know public toilets are really hard to come by on Cape Cod's quainter main streets. It can be frustrating for residents and visitors alike; all those "No Public Restroom" signs start to seem kind of hostile.

But still. About a year ago, at this very same ice cream shop, my Peanut suddenly had to Pee Right Away! She was new to the whole underpants gig then, and there was no telling her to hold it. But did I tell her "oh, just drop trou and piddle in the walkway"? Of course not. We scooted around behind the hedge at the back of the building and discreetly made the best of an urgent situation. And if that kid had come round back and modestly peed on the hedge, I'd have had no problem with it whatsoever.

So with that lovely encounter fresh in my mind, I have to say that I felt no pangs of sadness whatsoever about the many-mile backup of off-Cape traffic today. Buh-bye!


*admittedly, and thankfully, this is only a subset of summer visitors. Some of my best friends are summer visitors... true story!

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Sarah who, now?

Well. Evidently John McCain knows that relative inexperience doesn't matter that much as a qualification for the Presidency. After all, it can't be critical for Barack Obama if it isn't for his own would-be veep.

So now that argument's either more laughable than ever, or just out of play altogether.

Hm. So he must have picked her to appeal to women voters - disillusioned Clinton supporters?

How patronizing. How insulting. How... stupid.

And how interesting. I wonder how it'll play out... what do you think?

"PREPARATIONS TO PROTECT LIFE AND PROPERTY SHOULD BE RUSHED TO COMPLETION. "

...meaning, essentially, run for your life. Hurricane Gustav is on its way.

Mandatory evacuation of New Orleans has been ordered, effective today. All major highways around the city are one-way: out. Mayor Nagin says half the population has already left.

Mandatory evacuation from your city. Can you imagine? The closest thing in my experience is the curfew we were under in L.A. during the 1992 riots. Not nearly the same thing, of course.

"Say a prayer for us," says Nagin to the rest of America.

You got it.

Sunday Free Association

Play the free association game at Unconscious Mutterings. Here's what she said and what I thought this week:
  1. Groceries :: shopping

  2. Deodorant :: needed

  3. Psychic :: fraud

  4. Cherries :: red

  5. Spooky :: ghost

  6. Yogurt :: pink

  7. Kitchen :: counter

  8. Nothing personal :: yeah right

  9. Be nice :: child

  10. Delivery :: box

UPS has done a great marketing job with the brown truck, brown uniform thing. The image is almost inextricable from the concept of "delivery." What I thought of was a box, but what I pictured was a box being taken off a brown truck. My girls have known since their earliest awareness that big brown trucks bring boxes. Of course they know that other trucks do too, but that brown truck is forever linked to the whole idea of "is it for me?"

Cool! Thanks!

This lovely blog award is from Old Crone at BearsMountain. Thank you OC!

At the risk of an unforgivable breach of bloggy etiquette, my nominations are pending a longer break between nose-blowings. Damn this stupid cold.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

another placeholder

I'm sick. Coughing fits, dizzy spells, more snot than anyone wants to know anything about. Feh.

I'll get better.

In the meantime:

Friday, August 29, 2008

I heart xkcd.com.


Back from vacation. Unpacking, laundry, email, blogs... will get to yours soon.

Your blog, not your laundry.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

T minus 14 days: We go on vacation.

So we're leaving for the airport in an hour or so -- off to California to visit family and friends for a week. The days filled up quickly; we'll be scheduled, but not franticly (frantically?) so. We're staying in a hotel, which makes for comfortable downtime. That makes all the difference to me in a visit-intense trip.

Once upon a time, I was an extrovert. But that's a post for another day.

We're leaving behind a garden that is just about to burst full of gorgeous tomatoes. We've encouraged people to pick them while we're gone, but there are only so many any one person can eat. I planted grape and cherry tomatoes, as well as some Celebrities. There were a handful of the little ones ripe every day or so, until last week, when I started picking them by the bowlful. This is the bowl I picked this morning:

The bigger ones are coming ripe as well now. There will still be plenty when we get back and I'll be a sauce-making fiend.

Ooooooooh, saaaaauuuuuce.

We just had a quick thunderstorm go by, and now the sun's shining through the haze. There's steam coming off the street and drifting into the woods. It's hot and humid here. I'm looking forward to some cool dry California nights.

May get to blog a bit, may not. Have a good week, all, in any case.

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Sunday Free Association

Play the free association game every Sunday at Unconscious Mutterings. This week, she said, and I thought:
  1. signature :: official

  2. Olympics :: China (although I confess to an immediate image in my mind's eye of Michael Phelps's pubic bones. So sue me.)

  3. 100% :: all

  4. Damn! :: forgot

  5. Gold :: rush

  6. Fresh and natural :: lies, in advertising

  7. Fraction :: part

  8. Hurry :: up

  9. Summer :: almost over

  10. 29th :: what's happening on the 29th? Did I forget somewhere we're supposed to be on the 29th? Damn!


One thing I've noticed about playing this game is that often what comes first to my mind is a picture, not a word. Michael Phelps's lower torso speaks for itself. For "fresh and natural," what I thought of was a woman with long wavy brown hair wearing a gauzy pale blue dress walking on the beach. I'm pretty sure this at least approximates a 1970s television ad for Massengill douche. And since feminine hygiene product advertising is rife with patronizing insults and outright lies, that's the association.

Yeah, I guess that's pretty twisted.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Netflix is da bomb

I rant and rave when a company's customer service is terrible; it follows I should sing someone's praises when it's great.

Netflix just sent me an email, saying: well, damn. I deleted it. But it said, basically, that they'd had a problem with their shipping system, which has since been fixed; however, the next DVD on my queue didn't go out as soon as it was supposed to, and they're really sorry about it. They know I count on them to keep the movies a-comin', and they let me down. So they're going to give me a partial credit on my monthly fee. I don't have to do anything, this will happen automatically. Love, &c., from the nice folks with the bright red envelopes.


Total delay in my movie shipment: probably a couple of days. No more than that.

Netflix rocks.

TO: EVERYONE

FROM: sandy shoes
RE: your left brake light

... is out.

Friday, August 15, 2008

follow-up

I almost wish I had an entertaining disaster to report, but we arrived at the appointed hour, and were expected -- all of us -- and dinner was terrific!

I can therefore recommend the Daniel Webster Inn without reservation (har!).

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

I hope the food is good.

me: Hello, I'm hoping to make a 6:30 reservation for 6 people for dinner this evening.
Restaurant Person: Sure, for how many people?
me: 6 people.
RP: OK, what time?
me: 6:30 would be ideal, but
RP: well for large parties, we only have certain times available.
me: OK then, you tell me -- what time?
RP: we have 4:45, or 6:30.
me, slowly: 6:30 would be fine.
RP: your name?
me: [spells name]
RP: [reads back different name]
me: [corrects name]
RP: OK, we have you down for dinner at 6:30, for 8 people.
me, very slowly: 6 people.


Anyone want to bet they've never heard of us when we arrive?

Monday, August 11, 2008

bumper stickers

Seen any good bumper stickers lately?

My fifth grade teacher used to say that a person's intelligence is inversely proportional to the number of stickers on their car. I don't know if I buy that, but I'm not ashamed to say that I will think less of you if you have a "my kid beat up your honor student" bumper sticker on your car, especially if it's alongside one of Calvin pissing on any professional sports team's logo.

You'd think I'd see more unusual or remarkable bumper stickers in the summertime, with all the cars pouring onto the Cape from other states. But no, not often. So I chuckled last week when I saw this:

(Get one here.)

The "CHOOSE LIFE: YOUR MOTHER DID" stickers are pretty common around here, much more so than the apt retort: "AGAINST ABORTION? DON'T HAVE ONE!"

Best Iraq-related bumper sticker, spotted in Provincetown last year: "OH LOOK HONEY, ANOTHER PRO-LIFER FOR WAR." Ha.

I'm seeing a lot fewer "Support The Troops" ribbons and stickers lately. My favorite bumper sticker in that vein says: "I SUPPORT THE TROOPS MORE THAN YOU DO." Because really, it had gotten ridiculous. When someone sincerely, vehemently, angrily argues with you that it is not possible to support the troops unless you believe unconditionally in whatever their leader has ordered that they do -- well, then it's time to hang it up and take the conversation somewhere else, because a person who genuinely believes this has gone round the bend, and should be left to mop up his own spittle. In the face of that bizarre mentality I definitely can't blame people for being tired of those displays, though I am much heartened to see that local support efforts of actual substance have not slacked off.

But I digress.

I can't find a picture of my all-time favorite bumper sticker. I have the original somewhere (though not on the car), but if I start looking in places I think it might be, I will be hopelessly sidetracked by books I haven't seen in years, photographs, yearbooks and God knows what else. So I can't dig it up; I have to hit the hay. But it's white with simple grey letters, and it says:


UNITARIAN JIHAD
Just because you believe it's true doesn't make it true.

(Remember the Unitarian Jihad article? It's as good now as it was in 2005, I promise.)

Sunday, August 10, 2008

Sunday Free Association

Sunday Free Association from Unconscious Mutterings -- she gives you the words, you say what comes to mind.

  1. Month to month :: rent

  2. Adjusted :: tweaked

  3. Prank :: mean

  4. Mop :: floor

  5. Clarity :: aha!

  6. Parenting :: constant

  7. Glenn :: Ellen

  8. Fingerprint :: ID

  9. Pineapple :: yellow

  10. Attorney :: suit

Saturday, August 09, 2008

TO: Next-door Neighbor's Guest

FROM: sandy shoes
RE: shutting the fuck up

Hey lady... oh, and hi everyone, fine, thanks... lady, did you ever watch Friends? Remember Chandler was eternally breaking up with that Janice person, the one with the voice that cut through everyone's skull like a chainsaw?

That's what you sound like. I have closed my windows and doors, and that's still what you sound like.

So for the love of God, tone it down, take it inside, or shut the fuck up.

(I recommend option 3. NOBODY wants to hear you droning on about what's wrong with everybody else. Nobody. Not even your family wants to listen to that shit, I promise you.)

Have a good weekend, preferably elsewhere.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

T minus 27 days and... wait, that's all?

The girls are marching around the house with sweatshirts and backpacks on. They're playing "school." I guess this part of the game is "going to the bus stop." The Bean's backpack is brand new for 1st grade, and the frog backpack has been passed on to the Peanut to last her for preschool and kindergarten. You can't go to first grade with a frog backpack. First grade is the real deal.

(I really, really hope that Peanut stays good-natured about hand-me-downs. So far, so good.)

And as much as I was looking forward to it in June, when I took a deep breath, hoped for the best, and started counting the days till September 2 -- well, of course, the summer has flown by, and I'm not so eager for it to be over.

We've hung out at the pond some. We've had picnics, playgrounds and pre-ballet. We've done beach walks and bike rides and berry picking. There were art classes, family visits, and our town library's summer reading program. Cicadas, toads, and sidewalk chalk. The Barnstable County Fair. A great weekend camping in New Hampshire with friends.

I didn't get to half the things I had in mind for all our unscheduled time, but I'm glad, because the girls have made great use of it. Morning till night, they're in their own pretend worlds, role playing characters from their favorite stories and mixing them up in improbable story lines: "Let's play Laura and Mary [Little House on the Prairie] are ballerinas [Angelina Ballerina] on the Island of Sodor [Thomas the Tank Engine]!" "Let's play Fern and Avery [Charlotte's Web] ride Henry [Thomas the Tank Engine] to the grocery store [real life]!" Pure imaginative wackiness. Good stuff.

There's less than a month to go, and we'll be in California for a whole week of that. Figure in prep and recovery time, and the trip will eat up closer to two weeks. We have family coming to visit before then, and a birthday party this weekend for the Bean (rescheduled from last weekend when the Peanut was recovering from being sick), and nature classes at the Cape Cod Museum of Natural History.

So, it's all but gone -- but it's gone really well. Yes, it's been intense, and I've definitely gotten tired of repeating myself, tired of mediating and scolding and herding. But on the whole, summer's been better than I could have imagined.

Here's hoping for 27 more good days.

Words I never thought I'd type:

Well played, Paris Hilton. Well played.

Saturday, August 02, 2008

Nothing like a night in the E.R....

... for some perspective.

What's today, Saturday? Right. Last week, the Peanut had a fever-and-sore-throat virus that we fully expected her to get, as our friends' kids had had it and we all went camping together last weekend. She had the fever, the sore throat, then was better, no big deal. Then Thursday night she woke at 10:00, vomiting. By 11:00 she added diarrhea, and we sat in the bathroom for two hours. My poor Peanut - she was too tired to hold up her own head, and still her body wouldn't quit purging. Wouldn't quit. By 1:00 we were thinking the hospital seemed like the place to be; a call to her doctor's office confirmed it, and I took her in, pretty dehydrated.

I will spare you the details of our wait in the E.R. lobby -- suffice to say that janitorial services were required.

We got a room and a consultation and the general consensus was to get IV fluids in her, pronto. They tried both arms, three times each. They tried her hands, twice each. They tried her feet! Various people, including a neonatal I.V. specialist, were called down. Nobody could get a line in. And my Peanut, poor thing, was crying but not making tears. She didn't yell or pull away, but said "when is it going to be DONE?", and "I don't want to do this again," and "when can we GO?" and all sorts of reasonable, polite things, even whispering a tiny "thank you" when they gave her a teddy bear and a movie to watch. She was such a trooper. Eventually everyone gave up on getting a line in, and I just kept trying tiny sips of Pedialite, licks of a Popsicle... and she kept throwing it all back up.

Stressful night.

When morning came, the pediatrician said she wasn't comfortable discharging the still-vomiting Peanut without her being better hydrated. Decision was made to transfer her to Children's Hospital in Boston. Mr. S. came up and we switched; he rode in the ambulance to Boston with Peanut, I headed home for a break.

By the time she got to Children's, the Peanut was holding down water, so they didn't bother struggling with the needle. She recovered sufficiently there to come home, so the Bean -- who by that time was in the fever stage of the original virus (remember that one?) -- and I went up to get them.

All this on 20 minutes' sleep. Somehow that was easier to pull off in college.

The professional verdict is that the Peanut got a bad stomach bug on top of the first virus. Hopefully the Bean won't get it as well. Everyone slept soundly last night, and today, the Peanut's hungry and in good spirits. Normal again.

So yes, perspective. Thursday noon, I was hollering at that Peanut to put things away when she's done playing with them. Thursday midnight, I'd have given anything to have her well again. You know -- toys on the floor just don't matter. And this wasn't even a serious illness. Real perspective is something no parent ever wants to have driven home the hard way.