poop for brains

They're much more polite about this in Vancouver than I can manage to be here.

TO: The person who let their dog crap on the sidewalk where the Bean's school bus stops.

Fuck you very much.

I so appreciate having dog shit on my shoes and in my home.

My family and I wish you the same pleasure, many times over.

Have a nice day.

***

What do you do when your kid's misbehaving with a toy? You take it away, right? Of course you do. My girls write somewhere they're not supposed to -- in a book, say, or on furniture or a wall? The markers/crayons/pencils are gone for up to a week, depending what it was they defaced and how recently the last time they were reminded not to. Leave a toy out after I've told them and told them to put it away? Same story - the toy disappears for a while, and they've no one but themselves to blame.

In an ideal world, I would get to do this with all the selfish, lazy dog walkers in the neighborhood. I see your dog shit where people walk, and you don't pick it up? I'm taking your dog for a week. Not to mistreat it, good heavens no. The problem isn't the dog's fault -- there is only a problem because you, dog owner, are an inconsiderate jackass, and probably don't deserve your loyal friend's company anyhow.

The world would be different if I were Queen, I tell ya.