Thursday, April 23, 2009

Nothing else really explains it.

The Bean and the Peanut are usually pretty tight. They like each other a lot and play together like peas in a pod. However, I sometimes wonder if they have an actual biological need to scream at each other every so often until one (doesn't matter which, sometimes it's both) of them is crying. There doesn't seem to be anything I can do to prevent it. If I see it coming and separate them, they just wait till the next available opportunity. It's like a necessary, inevitable letting off of steam.

I have learned to just send them outside till it's over. Let the neighbors wonder. "What in hell is that racket? Where on Earth is their mother, and why doesn't she do anything about it?"


  1. I hate to say it, but you're probably going to have to get used to it. The whole liking each other and playing together thing is going to stop soon enough, and then they'll be doing nothing but fighting with each other.

    I speak from personal experience - my sister and I would've killed each other if we had the chance. For really no good reason, either. And we fought about EVERYthing.....

  2. Ha, I say to the comment that they will come to nothing but fighting. And I say to JLK, do you and your sister fight to this day. Children fighting is merely establishment of a sense of self, and a sense that they are in charge of themselves. Don't over analyse it.

  3. @Anonymous - my sister and I aren't close, but that has more to do with my parent's divorce that came when I was a teenager than anything else. But no, we don't really fight to this day.

    I think to spin off of anon's comment about fighting being an establishment of self, I would add that it's largely about territory. "That's MINE!!!" and "Mooooom! She took MY _______!!!!!" I think of it in terms of how a couple deals with moving in together for the first time, how they learn to share space and possessions. Little ones are expected to share pretty much everything before they have the maturity and the life knowledge of how to deal with that, and while their self-concept still has them as the Center of the Universe.

    They're probably going to fight until the day that one of them moves out of the house. Once that happens, everything calms down, even if the child who leaves returns home. But it's totally normal, and it makes for hilarious stories for when they reach adulthood.

  4. JLK--I agree with the territory theory, but that is the same as establishing self and parameters. Assertiveness or what have you.
    I have no username/password so I use my name from other forums, Pack. Occassionally I stop by this blog as I remember it from times past.I have been told that older children face greater difficulties from divorce than very young children, personally I see too many of each variety with difficulties. Pack.

  5. @Pack - that's why I said I was spinning off of what you said. I just wanted to add a more specific observation of the assertion of self in development.

  6. Oh my goodness, there is nothing that frustrates me more than my kids fighting. They can no longer take baths together, even if they want to and are getting along at first, because there always ends up a fight. The last time, it was because Blue kissed Red's hand. I separate them and end the activity if they fight. ARAUGH

  7. Yep. Bath can be one of Those Times.

    In general though I have no reason to believe the girls won't continue to like each other and play together. For every pair of siblings I know that fought constantly, I know another who got along well. Everyone's different. They need to assert their separateness, and sometimes it comes out in screams and tears. Let 'em do it outdoors, I say.

    Pack, it's always good to see you. Do you blog anywhere, yourself?