Wednesday, October 26, 2011

The telltale... what, what, WHAT?

I was just emptying the dishwasher, while waiting for the teapot to boil. Mounted on the wall to the right of my cooktop is a spice rack Mr. Sandyshoes made for me. On hooks at the bottom of it, I hang spatulas, etc. So I'm hanging up some of these utensils. The kettle whistles, I make my tea, and continue unloading clean dishes while it steeps. At some point I notice a faint ticking sound in the vicinity of the spice rack.

Tick.

What could it be? Who would care? It's barely perceptible.

Tick.

But it bothers me because I don't know what is doing it. I assume it is the spoon I see rocking back and forth on its hook a bit after I hung it up, and I go to steady the spoon.

Tick.

Not the spoon. The tick is coming from higher up, within the spice rack, somewhere between parsley and tarragon (yes, they're alphabetized. Yours aren't?).

Tick.

Maybe the change in humidity from opening the dishwasher just after it finished running is causing the wood of the spice rack to expand against the kitchen wall?

Tick.

I press on the spice rack and hold.

Tick.

Hm. That did seem like kind of a stretch. I've emptied that dishwasher hundreds of times and never noticed this before.

Tick.

The ticking is regular. I'm going to time it.

Tick. One one thousand, two one thousand, three one thousand,

tick.

Every four seconds. But what? From where?

Tick.

The pepper mill? I take out the pepper mill, hold it to my ear, feeling foolish now, but something is ticking. This is a question with an answer, and I want the answer, even if it's going to make me feel like a dope.

Tick.

Not the pepper mill. In the wall. I go around to the other side of the wall, which is my laundry room.

Tick.

It's even less perceptible here. Definitely on the spice rack side of the wall.

Tick.

Folks, I wish I had an end to this story. Something in my wall is still ticking. Every four seconds. Quietly, but distinctly, ticking.

I predict it will continue through tomorrow, and stop just as Mr. Sandyshoes gets home from his trip. There won't be any point in telling him about it, but I probably will. Uh-huh, he'll say. The spice rack is ticking. Sure thing. Don't worry baby, I'll get right on that.

8 comments:

  1. yet one more reason not to have a spice rack ...

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  2. Do you have hot water baseboard heat--the loop ticks as it expands and contracts. People aren't used to it when they first fire up the beast in the basement come fall.

    Waiting for verdict.

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  3. Oh, second guess, poltergeist.

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  4. I'm gonna have to go with poltergeist. We do have baseboard HW but I'm not turning it on until Thanksgiving. That way we can all be extra thankful there is heat to turn on.

    Until then I am wearing layers of fleece and drinking hot water. Also should probably take out the window a/c units. Hm.

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  5. None! I forgot about it when I next saw Mr. S., and haven't heard it since. I wish there were more to say.

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  6. Well make something up, so I can get on with my life.

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  7. I read this days ago and then decided to wait and return later to see if you found the culprit?

    So..wow. Sounds like you have one too. A ghost. Ours is called Madge and she came with the place. I've seen her countless times. Bing...just once. She disbelieved for a LONG TIME, used to make fun of me and then one night, she went downstairs to get a cup of hot milk since she couldn't sleep. Naked. Madge chose that time to appear to her. I remember being half awake and suddenly hearing Bing's thumping feet on our steps and her taking a flying LEAP into the bed. She was trembling all over. "I saw her!" she kept saying. The next day, there was her forgotten milk sitting on the kitchen counter.

    Liv has never seen her, but Madge would often appear to me in white when she was either sick or going to get sick. But, once Liv hit 12...no more sightings.

    I think having an adolescent in the house is hard on all of us....

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