I'm really Kermit, but that wasn't an option.

You Are Bert

Extremely serious and a little eccentric, people find you loveable - even if you don't love them! You are usually feeling: Logical - you rarely let your emotions rule you You are famous for: Being smart, a total neat freak, and maybe just a little evil How you life your life: With passion, even if your odd passions (like bottle caps and pigeons) are baffling to others

The Sesame Street Personality Quiz

Which are you?

Wheee, I bought a yacht! OK, no I didn't.

One of my favorite things to do with the girls is to hang out by the Cape Cod Canal and watch boats. Recently we had a picnic there with some friends (hi, friends!) and we saw this one. (We didn't take this picture... would've held out for a view that included the lovely aft decks, myself.) It's a beautiful boat, owned originally by the guy who started Lands' (sic -- that apostrophe irritates me no end) End, which is why I say I bought it, ha, ha.

Wonder what the L.L. Bean folks are sailing these days.

"Happy Feet" - not.

An animated film about a penguin that can't sing, but can tap dance like crazy. Cute premise, right? I was hoping for something along the lines of Finding Nemo. But aside from some smiles at the Robin Williams characters, and a surprise (to me) appearance by Steve Irwin as the voice of an elephant seal, Happy Feet (2006) left me somewhat unhappy. It wasn't that cute or funny or clever. It was too long. It was boring.

Briefly, with spoilers and too many parenthetical asides: Mumble (inexplicably named, because he doesn't), voiced by Elijah Wood (who I've now decided is unappealing even when I can't see him) is the dancing penguin. Because he is Different, the others, including his father, cast him out. The penguin he loves returns his feelings and stands up for him, but he's unaccountably mean to her. Oh, and we learn that "the fish are disappearing" (maybe I missed a scene, but it came across as if the script were written on the fly). With a posse of rockhopper friends (Latino stereotypes, which evidently we have not yet outgrown, but which I sheepishly admit having found amusing), Mumble heads off, following the recollection of a penguin with a six pack ring around his neck, to find out What Is Happening To The Fish. He swims after a trawler, ends up in a zoo, sinks into despair, dances, attracts human attention, gets back to the colony with a tracking device attached to him, teaches the colony to dance so that humans will want to save them. Roll credits.

This was a bungled attempt to be a lot of things. It should have stuck with "it's OK to be different," spared the preachiness, and cut about half the musical numbers. Good grief.

The movie's one quote worth repeating is one of Robin Williams's, of course: "I must retire now to my couch of perpetual indulgence."

I need one of those, whatever they are.

La meme chose

I just got this one. You know the drill.

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
My mother's sister.
2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
I can't remember... wait, yes I can. Grrr.
3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
I guess so. I have a lot of different handwritings depending on what I'm writing with. Kind of a handwriting multiple personality disorder. Hmmm.
4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE LUNCH MEAT?
Low sodium ham.
5. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Depends on which other person I was. I like to think I'd try.
6. DO YOU USE SARCASM A LOT?
Are you kidding me?
7. DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR TONSILS?
As far as I know. When you wake up alone in a hotel bathtub full of ice it's usually just your kidney that's missing, right?
8. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
Sure (if there were a loaded gun to my head).
9. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL?
Kashi Heart to Heart, but I don't buy it in principle since its price increased.
10. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Usually.
11. DO YOU THINK YOU ARE STRONG?
Yes.
12. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE ICE CREAM?
With hot fudge: Chocolate chip. Without: just chocolate, without nuts or chunks or textural anomalies of any kind.
13. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
Edit: I'm changing this response. I was in a group of strangers this morning and I observed myself a bit, and it turns out the first thing I notice about people is their mood. Their "vibe."
14. RED OR PINK?
pink
15. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE THING ABOUT YOU?
That I don't know how to be angry in a normal way. I'm zero to furious in no time.
16. WHO DO YOU MISS THE MOST?
Diana. No, not the princess, though by all accounts she was a lovely person.
17. WHAT COLOR PANTS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
denim shorts and white sneakers
18. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE?
the last of the leftover bbq chicken and grape salad
19. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Pandora.com is playing me Jimi Thing, by The Dave Matthews Band. Do you know about Pandora? Check it out, it's awesome! You tell it what kinds of music you like by suggesting bands or songs, and it plays that kind of music. The more information you give it, the better it knows how to pick music you will like. You can make separate "radio stations" for different types of music, and choose which one to play, or shuffle between them. Really cool.
20. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE?
today? midnight blue.
21. FAVORITE SMELLS?
Sea air, mountain air, desert air... Air. I really like air.
22. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
The person to whose house we're going tomorrow morning. Still on? Yup!
23. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
I hate watching sports, except tennis, and I won't go out of my way to watch that.
24. HAIR COLOR?
mouse brown
25. EYE COLOR?
swamp green
26. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
Yes, on sunny days. I let my eyes have some oxygen at night and when it's cloudy and I don't need sunglasses.
27. FAVORITE FOOD?
I could write a whole blog about my favorite foods. But in the end it all comes down to spaghetti and meatballs.
28. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies with happy endings.
29. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
Wedding Crashers.
30. WHAT COLOR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Kind of a brick red. I think LL Bean called it "desert rose."
31. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Hate 'em equally. I like the inbetweens.
32. HUGS OR KISSES?
Depends from whom.
33. FAVORITE DESSERT?
Chocolate cake. Regular chocolate cake, not flourless cake, which is an oxymoron and should be called something else. And no raspberry filling, OK? Just chocolate cake.
34. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Broken For You by Stephanie Kallos. Snow Mountain Passage by James D. Houston. The Audacity of Hope: Thoughts on Reclaiming the American Dream by Barack Obama. And the same biography of George Washington that I've been trying to get through for probably 5 years now.
35. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Just the mouse
36. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON T. V. LAST NIGHT?
The first disk of Season 4 of Little House on the Prairie. Yay Netflix!
37. FAVORITE SOUND?
My girls laughing. The guitar solo on "Blue Sky." Wind and waves. Silence, when I get it.
38. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Beatles
39. WHAT IS THE FURTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Physically? Istanbul.
40. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
No.

Well, I guess I'm really good at grocery shopping.

Ask me how it's going in ten years.

It just occurred to me that I will likely be (at least peri-)menopausal at about the time my girls begin to menstruate. That's some good hormone-slingin' fun to look forward to.

That's Right... I'm not from Texas

...but I love Lyle Lovett and his Large Band. They played the Cape Cod Melody Tent last night. They come round every summer, and I've been meaning to go for years. This year the girls are old enough to be babysat, and Mr. SandyShoes and I finally got to go. (As a "holy cow" aside, concert tickets have sure gotten expensive in the, um, 10? years since I've seen live music... sigh).

I like the Melody Tent. It's a round(ish) venue with a rotating stage so there really aren't any bad seats. It's low-key and smallish by concert standards, a great place to see a show if (like me) enormous crowds make you cranky and vaguely anxious.

The band was great, with eighteen musicians on stage at its largest (percussion, drums, electric, acoustic and steel guitars, four horns, piano, mandolin, fiddle, cello, bass, and four backup singers, including the fabulous Francine Reed, who does that great duet with Lyle on "The Glory of Love." The sound was rich, and the mood was lovely. It's clearly a group of super-talented people who admire and respect each other, love playing together, and have been doing it for a comfortable long time.

It's hard to describe Lyle Lovett's music to someone who's not heard it. Parts gospel, big (er, large) band, bluegrass (he says he's exploring this recently), country, folk. Pop, if he goes there, is a coincidence. Sometimes you need music to make you ache, or to wake you up to an ache you're already feeling or revisiting. Nobody does melancholy like Lyle Lovett (Promises given/and promises broken/words stain my lips/just like blood on my hands; and words are like poison/that sinks down inside you/and some things you do/you just don't understand). But the big tunes that it's hard not to dance to are the best, most energizing and most fun, live. Last night brought some of each, and a number of tunes I hadn't heard before. Came home and realized the most recent CD of Lyle's in my collection is The Road to Ensenada... from 1996. Been a busy decade I guess.

Anyway, it was a terrific night. Good things can come from the Lone Star State after all ;).

Things I Love

I could write a whole blog about things I love. Life is full of 'em. It's way more than I deserve.

The thing that comes to mind tonight is the indescribably lovely feeling of the air on these late spring Cape Cod evenings. The days are long, and it's still twilight when the girls go to bed. I get back downstairs and step outside in time to see the first stars come out. A breeze keeps the bugs away and makes a gentle ssshing noise through the woods. It's cool and dry, even if the day was warm and humid.

Breathing feels more like drinking, on evenings like this.

"Wedding Crashers"

There is nothing at all about Wedding Crashers (2005... that's today, by my standards) that you couldn't guess from its premise: Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn play friends who crash weddings to meet women, on the theory that women are especially, er, meetable at weddings. They're great at it and have a lot of fun, until one of 'em falls for a bride's sister, who happens to be the daughter of the Secretary of the Treasury (Christopher Walken, always entertaining), and engaged to an insufferable peckerhead (can I say "peckerhead"?). They weasel their way into a weekend at the family compound, and...

...write the rest yourself. You won't go far wrong.

In favor: It's goofy with a couple of real laughs. Owen Wilson is all kinds of cute even if the most powerful urge he leaves you with is to trim someone's bangs.

Against: Premise is clumsily set up. Far too much footage of Vince Vaughn stuffing his face (a couple of frames would've more than sufficed). Utterly predictable plot. Not as many laughs as I'd hoped.

Eh.

"Finding Neverland"

Waldorf: That was a sweet number.
Statler: It sure was.
Waldorf: Only one problem.
Statler: eh?
Waldorf: I HATE SWEET NUMBERS!

Finding Neverland (2004, so I'm only three years late to this one) is a lovely film based on the story, set in 1904 London, of author J.M. Barrie's growing friendship with a young widow and her four sons, and the creation of the play Peter Pan. Johnny Depp is fabulous as Barrie (and probably the reason I put this in my Netflix queue in the first place), and Kate Winslet perfect as the widow. Dustin Hoffman hits just the right note as Barrie's backer, and the supporting cast, including the four boys, is great. Finding Neverland delivers a charming mix of real events and games of make-believe, as ideas for "Pan" start to come together in Barrie's imagination.

Some of the real events are sad ones, and this movie pulls hard on the ol' heartstrings.

It's just... well, I hate that.

"Family Circus" Made Tolerable

Here's possibly the only defensible reason to look at that horrid Family Circus comic.

Checkit: The Nietzsche Family Circus. Refresh the page for a new comic.

Proud to be from Massachusetts

Thanks to a vote yesterday in our Legislature, the right of gay people to marry in our fair Commonwealth has been preserved.

A few years back, our Supreme Judicial Court declared it unconstitutional to disallow homosexuals to marry. Since then 1) gay folks who want to have been getting hitched here, and 2) people who perceive themselves, or civilization in general, to be somehow threatened by that have had their panties in a bunch. A petition was formed to amend our state constitution to define marriage as between one man and one woman. Amending the constitution requires a vote of the populace, but before that happens, the Legislature representing the populace decides whether it should go to popular vote. Yesterday our Legislature decided, rightly in my view, not to have that happen.

So, good. Civil rights aren't properly decided by majority opinion. Period.

My preference would be to have government out of the marriage business entirely. Have the state recognize a "civil union" contract between any unrelated, consenting adult couple who wants one, and leave "marriage" to religious organizations. In the meantime though, I'm proud to live in a state that recognizes that disallowing gay people to marry is wrong.

Today's Song

could definitely be worse. I've got Jumper, by Third Eye Blind in my head.

I wish you would step back from that ledge, my friend...

Thanks a lot, China.

Recently a whole lot of Thomas the Tank Engine wooden train set stuff has been recalled... mostly red things, some yellow... because they contain lead paint. Yes. Lead paint, in toys for toddlers.

The wooden train sets are my girls' absolute favorite toys, so I have a bunch of stuff to round up and send away: James the Red Engine and his tender, two cabooses, a box car and cargo box, various stop signs and railroad crossing signs. The company says we will be sent replacements and a "free" (oh good!) gift, postage reimbursed, etc. So they're doing The Right Thing.

But what is wrong with China that young children's toys made there (for export at least) are being coated with lead paint? And what is wrong with us*, that we import so much from there, despite every indication that their health, safety and environmental standards are not protective of health, safety or the environment?

I'm just glad I don't have memories of my girls mouthing these toys (their "taste everything" phase didn't last long, and was over when they got into wooden train stuff). I definitely feel for parents who do. Not to mention those that won't hear anything about this.

*Yes, I would rather spend twice as much on a toxin-free caboose.

Colbert on Rodham

Stuff like this almost makes me wish I still had the comedy channel.

Were I Queen of the Universe... II

...supermarkets would notify people when a product has been discontinued and they won't be getting any more of it.

A while back, there was a brand of sweet potatoes canned without syrup. They were great, especially for feeding to babies in high chairs. We *loved* them. And one day, poof! they were gone. Had I known this was going to happen, I'd have bought ALL OF THEM, and run around to all the other Stop & Shops buying 'em out there too.

I can't get El Paso "medium" salsa in the large jar any more.

Lately I'm noticing that lower sodium versions of things are disappearing. Goya had some varieties of beans with less salt that aren't being restocked. Nabisco has just discontinued Low Salt Triscuits. Anywhere I can find those things, I'll buy all that are left.

I feel a bit like Elaine Benes with the sponges. Except way more (read: totally) pathetic. In my tedious midlife crisis, I could care less for a convenient OTC contraceptive. Give me a low salt whole grain snack, damnit, or I'll get all angry consumer on yo' ass.

Where have I been all your life?

Not that many places, actually:

Hopefully I'll get to some of the blank spots. It's downright silly I've never been to Canada, particularly having worked for some years in Vermont.

I hear the Dakotas are lovely this time of year. Road trip anyone?

Purging Closets

Today we did a big drop-off at the Salvation Army thrift shop. With the peanut outgrowing things daily, there's a steady stream of stuff to donate or pass on, but more importantly for my own self, I have begun a thorough closet purge.

I'm not one who loves accumulating things. Still, a big closet can be so sneaky, hiding all those keep-or-donate decisions in dark corners until you're either ready to make them or unbearably fed up with not making them. The sheer volume of stuff that I've tried on, voted down, boxed up, and hauled out has sort of amazed me.

Out with the khakis and button down shirts, as I'm no longer in that kind of day job (in my career I regularly dressed as a man might on casual Friday. Waste site cleanup didn't really lend itself to fashion forward thinking, or even, say, skirts.) Out with pants that will never fit again, as I need different cuts than before I had children. Out, sadly, with all the cute shoes that no longer fit, as my feet are a half size bigger now (?!). Out with sweaters I just can't wear because a fleece vest is all I can tolerate indoors anymore, even midwinter. Out with things that are beginning to fray, as there will always be more where those came from, and I don't need a backlog of clothes that "don't matter." And out, ruthlessly out out OUT with things that no longer flatter. Life is too short.

And hey, my closet has a floor!

Now I wonder what's in all those bureau drawers.

Suckin' it up in the slammer

This morning as what passes for top of the hour news was on the radio, I was thinking how much cooler Martha Stewart is than Paris Hilton.

Which is saying basically nothing, as Paris Hilton is by all indications a shell of a shell of a human being without character. But Martha's no whiner, so good for her.

Were I Queen of the Universe

Some stuff I would disallow:

billboards;
little planes towing advertisements or personal messages back and forth, back and forth, back and forth;
crackly food wrappers in movie theaters;
excessive packaging;
companies sending monthly bills so far in advance of the due date of the previous bill that it always appears as though there's an amount past due, when there isn't (ATT, are you listening? Of course not.)

More to come... add your own... all with the understanding that oy, everyone should be so lucky to have such serious problems.

Nerd, Geek or Dork?

Looks like I'm a nerd. You? Find out here.

"Your Score: Pure Nerd

65 % Nerd, 17% Geek, 30% Dork

For The Record:

A Nerd is someone who is passionate about learning/being smart/academia.
A Geek is someone who is passionate about some particular area or subject, often an obscure or difficult one.
A Dork is someone who has difficulty with common social expectations/interactions.
You scored better than half in Nerd, earning you the title of: Pure Nerd.

The times, they are a-changing. It used to be that being exceptionally smart led to being unpopular, which would ultimately lead to picking up all of the traits and tendences associated with the "dork." No-longer. Being smart isn't as socially crippling as it once was, and even more so as you get older: eventually being a Pure Nerd will likely be replaced with the following label: Purely Successful.

Congratulations!"