I was kicked out of the house today so the girls could do secret stuff with Mr. S. for my birthday. "Aren't you going to a movie or something?" said the Peanut, ever subtle. Well, you don't have to ask me twice, kiddo -- seeya! (Later, the game is to say "tell me what's the secret!" and she'll whisper in your ear "what's the secret!" and crack up. That's a joke she came up with about a year ago, when she really couldn't keep a secret any other way.)
I was the only person in the whole theater -- I hope this theater isn't going out of business, because that isn't at all unusual for an off-season matinée. In this case though, maybe it was because everyone else already knew what I didn't until I'd given up the two hours, which is: Deception just isn't very good. I like Hugh Jackman, and I like Obi-Wan, er, Ewan MacGregor. And I like a sexy thriller probably better than the next guy -- especially if, like today, there isn't a next guy. But I like 'em a lot better if they're sexy or thrilling. Deception tries, it does, but falls short on both counts. I looked at my watch (Indiglo!) twice.
In a nutshell: MacGregor plays a shy accountant who gets pulled out of his shell by a slick lawyer (Jackman) who takes him places and tells him stuff. Our bashful hero learns about a secret sex club, which he is kind of getting to like, until he falls for one of the women he meets, and she disappears. All is not as it seems, which you might've gathered, by, um, the title of the movie.
With very low expectations, you could be mindlessly entertained by this; plug in higher standards and you might be actively disappointed. I give it a heartfelt "meh."
No complaints about having the afternoon off, though, even if I don't yet know "what's the secret."