This is a good time for the Alphabet Meme, which I have honorably pinched from the lovely Maria at Just Eat Your Cupcake.
It might take me 26 days to get through it!
A is for your age: 41.
This 40-ish zone appears to be a time for exciting medical firsts. First mammogram behind me. First colonoscopy coming up. First anxiety attack. First cysts of various types. First time "throwing my back out," a phrase I never understood until it happened to me, and good God, I hope it never does again.
Also, my blood pressure now has me on the frequent flier program at my doctor's office. We are tweaking my prescriptions till some combination of things appears to work consistently. I am tired of the copayments and scheduling hassles, but very glad that I have health insurance, my doctor is a terrific person, and my husband can work from home on appointment days.
Then there was the first time I was mistaken for my child's grandmother. That felt good, I can tell ya. The memory now shares mental filespace under "Humiliations, Appearance-Related" with the first time someone suggested I "need Botox for those wrinkles." Yes.
On the other hand, at 4o-something, I'm feeling other insecurities fall away. As much as I might wonder sometimes about paths not taken, I now have enough experience behind me to trust that whatever's ahead is going to be all right. Would I repeat my 20s, if I could have a do-over? I don't know. If it were the only way to end up in the life I have now, probably not.
I am starting to learn not to dwell on my every past mistake. Considering how many there are, that is going to save me a ton of emotional time. And who doesn't love a time-saver?
Make me laugh, as I close on 60. At 48, I walked into Mt.Sinai Med Cntr to donate a pint for my neice who was to undergo surgery. They said if you weren't here for donation we would have you in ER, BP 210/110-Wow never before. Never since, Ziac and a new approach. Bought a bike, no more smoking, stopped being so Type A-- In other words said to myself stop waging war on life and start living it simple, peacefully, faithfully with some love and kindness. Neice went onto ICU for 10 weeks of near death. I spelled her parents on weekends for the 2.5 months and I learned from them what was really important. A day does not go by that does not show me a reason for gratitude--even the suckiest of days. Life gets better and better even on the suckiest of days if you learn :Don't sweat the small stuff, and....it is all small stuff.
ReplyDeleteOh, I forgot to say, You are the me of 10 years ago. There is a lot of fun ahead. Hug your kids frequently. We are sending one off to Spain tomorrow for a college course.
ReplyDeleteThank you for both those comments, anon. I am learning, I am.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm grateful.
Spain! That's a once in a lifetime experience. Good for you and yours. Well done!