Keys

So we just picked up our new car. Its keys are enormous, and, we were warned, very expensive to replace, particularly if we lose all of them. Oh, and we shouldn't get them wet, either.

Our 2001 vehicle has a no-frills key with a separate fob for the remote unlock/lock function. With the new car, it's all built into the key. This is billed as an advantage, sure to put an end to all our separate-fob-induced headaches. But Mr. S. was happier the "old" way, because he can ditch the fob and still have full use of the car. Not overburdened by having to (gasp) actually insert a key in a car door to unlock it, and disliking a bulky key ring, he doesn't want the bells and whistles embedded in the new key. However, he is stuck with them. He was exasperated to learn that a simple flat metal car key can no longer be had. You can't even have a useful one made at a hardware store; a duplicate thus obtained will unlock the car, but not start it.

This all seems particularly silly because it's just a Corolla, for cryin' out loud. We now have luxury keys to an economy car.

The new key is bulky enough that I needed a bigger ring. That's cool, because the one I was using was so stiff that I needed a blade to pry it open. Transferring my keys to a larger gentler ring, I came across one I don't recognize. Possibly it unlocks a file cabinet where I used to work. Who knows. I put it in the little "misc. keys" box where it will stay forever. Throwing it away would only guarantee that whatever it locks would 1) materialize immediately after the trash was taken to the dump, and 2) contain something of inestimable value. Mr. S., ever the optimist, asked if maybe it's a key to a safety deposit box containing information about a trust fund he'd not known about. I keep telling him "trust fund" was not part of my vocabulary growing up, and that if it were, he'd certainly have earned my trust enough to have been told about it by now. Hm, he says. The trust fund stuff must be somewhere else then.

Anyway my key ring's down to house and car keys, and my library card. I don't keep the grocery store card on my key ring; I have to open my wallet there anyway, so having the card with my keys doesn't seem more convenient. Maybe someday I will write a riveting post about wallets.

In the meantime I have to decide whether to replace the battery in my little key finder gadget. Yes, we have hooks by the door where keys are supposed to be hung. And yes, I still have enough "where the HELL are my KEYS?!" moments that Mr. S. finally got me one of those things that you press to make a responder on your key ring beep. This has come in handy more times than I care to admit. Eventually though, the responder started beeping on its own, continually and without provocation. It happens particularly around one of the Bean's friend's mothers. At her house one day I was beeping so continuously I couldn't wait to leave. Another day we met on the playground and it happened again, though the beep was weaker as it had pretty well worn out its battery by then. I said "dang, I'm beeping again," and she said "Oh I remember that," and I said "hm, maybe you're setting me off." Which I hope was taken in the spirit it was said, though the awkward silence that followed -- punctuated by warbles from the general direction of my pocket -- indicates otherwise.