Saturday, August 09, 2008

TO: Next-door Neighbor's Guest

FROM: sandy shoes
RE: shutting the fuck up

Hey lady... oh, and hi everyone, fine, thanks... lady, did you ever watch Friends? Remember Chandler was eternally breaking up with that Janice person, the one with the voice that cut through everyone's skull like a chainsaw?

That's what you sound like. I have closed my windows and doors, and that's still what you sound like.

So for the love of God, tone it down, take it inside, or shut the fuck up.

(I recommend option 3. NOBODY wants to hear you droning on about what's wrong with everybody else. Nobody. Not even your family wants to listen to that shit, I promise you.)

Have a good weekend, preferably elsewhere.


  1. I sympathize. The crazy neighbor behind my house has one volume setting: 11. At least I can't hear him inside the house, but it does put a damper on hanging out on the patio after work.

  2. A few weeks ago, we went to our favorite little cafe and sitting right next to us was a Janice. She was the most obnoxiously loud person I had ever seen. There were SEVEN other people at her table and not one of them could get a word in edgewise. And she had this braying laugh...

    Suffice it to say that we plowed through our dinners at record speed.

  3. dennis from dennis6:47 PM, August 09, 2008

    is there anything you can throw over the fence?

  4. I'm sorry. Hope she leaves soon :(

  5. it is all about keeping it real =]