Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Microsoft Office. GRRR.

I am beginning to see why everyone who knows anything about computers hates Windows so much.

Things have been crashing around here ("here" = "my desk") lately. Last week Explorer kept crashing. I reinstalled it.

The other night I couldn't open Excel directly, yet it would open if I clicked on an existing worksheet. I shrugged and kept going.

Last night I couldn't open Microsoft Word, either the program itself or through any existing document.

That is NOT OK.

Mr. Sandy really wishes I would calm down and stop swearing when stuff like this happens. But I get so angry I can barely think, and obscenities are all that will come out of my mouth.

I was running Windows XP with Office 2000; evidently it was time to upgrade to Office XP. I did that today.

Now, Outlook crashes every 10 minutes and Explorer crashes every time I try to sign into a site (say, Amazon.com, which is oh, kind of USEFUL THIS TIME OF YEAR).

So I follow the link for "more information" on the error message. It tells me I need "updates." I download the updates. It requested my Office XP disc. I put it in. It downloaded and installed updates. I have no idea what they are or if they'll solve any of my exponentially multiplying problems.

(Yes, I have a firewall, have done a virus scan, etc.)


I'm sorry to yell at you. It isn't your fault.

But all you people who know anything about computers and won't touch Windows unless you absolutely must: I am beginning to see why.

And while I'm on the topic of fucking stupid things that computers do, or stop doing, without your knowledge or consent or having done anything to cause said change in function: Why the fuck does Blogger stick two carriage returns between paragraphs, when all I put there is one, and ALL I WANT THERE IS ONE? Because if I'd wanted two there, I'd have fucking well put two there myself.

Bah. I should probably be where people are not.


  1. Hmm...Blogger may double space between your paragraphs because you are using block paragraphs, instead of indented ones? And that would then be standard format. Either you indent to indicate a paragraph start, or you double space.

    I don't know anything about the other stuff. I didn't know you could use something other than Windows, okay? That's how computer-illiterate I am.

  2. Yeah... I like the double space to have a gap b/t paragraphs, but Blogger wants to put two of them between, for a larger gap than I want.

    I didn't know I could do indented ones; maybe I'll like that better.

    The something-other-than-Windows I hear people talk about is Linux. I don't know anything about it, and I need the user-friendly interface that Windows has, when it works, which appears to be less and less often, for me.

    Gah, I know enough to know it sucks, but not enough to use anything else.

  3. Stop using IE. Start using Firefox. Seriously. IE has fucked up stuff for me many, many times.

    I'd say get a Mac, but my hate/hate relationship with my Mac is well documented.

  4. I am basically computer illiterate. I can blog, do research and send and get e-mail. That is about it. Luckily, Bing is a Mac nut and she can fix nearly anything that goes wrong with the computer. She is always trying to teach me how to do things on my own and I tell her that it is like my car. I don't want to know HOW it works, I just want it to fucking work.

    If she dies or we break up, my goose is sort of cooked, huh?